Whenever we sit in a gathering, we find someone absent in thought—lost, like today’s child. The reason? Parents often fail to distinguish between nurturing and upbringing. They assume that by providing material needs they have fulfilled their duty of raising their child, unaware that the difference between the two is vast.
Nurturing a child means providing for their needs and ensuring their well-being—something many caregivers can do even in the absence of parents. Upbringing, however, is the cornerstone of shaping a child’s character. It is the conscious effort of parents and teachers to help a child discover and develop their talents, build self-confidence, and grow into a conscious individual with a meaningful role in life.
Caring for a child’s health, safety, love, affection, and basic needs—as well as supporting them in schoolwork—is certainly a child’s right. Yet, while material care is crucial, it will never build a child’s mind. It may feed the body to grow, but the child will still need a guiding framework to live by, a role model to emulate, and moral direction to distinguish between right and wrong.
Nurturing without upbringing leads to fragile men, women unable to handle responsibility, employees who do not respect their work, students who flee from school, and siblings who steal from one another. It creates cities littered with waste—because no one taught the child not to throw garbage on the ground. It breeds selfish beings who care only for themselves, disobedient sons and daughters, irresponsible individuals, and people without talent or creativity.
Upbringing, on the other hand, is the process of guiding a child toward good morals, sound values, and upright principles—instilling positive habits that shape a reliable, responsible member of society. It is about raising diligent individuals capable of self-improvement and personal growth. It plants the seeds of respect—where the young honor their elders and the elders show compassion to the young—and cultivates self-confidence.
Values and principles are not just for children to follow; they must be lived by the parents as role models. Do not lie in front of your children, so they do not learn to lie. Respect their minds and privacy, so they respect yours. Do not dominate them; instead, be an example of integrity and kindness in every aspect of life. Parents can help their children discover their talents and strengths, channeling their free time into meaningful activities—while also grounding them in religious and ethical education.
So I say: work on building an independent personality in your child. Listen to their opinion, no matter how young they are. Do not leave them confused. Teach them through sound upbringing combined with care, so they may draw for themselves a successful path in life.
